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United States
I’ll do it, but only if you’ll help

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Dear Fatima,

The reference to pregnant goats was simply in response to Steve's comment about getting fresh milk from the goat, rather than in response to your original message. If the tone of any of my comments has been perceived as too serious – angry, even – and the intended ironic humour behind any of them has been missed, then I must apologise profusely. It is ironic indeed that the need has been felt to explain the humour behind Jeff’s pledge to me. Maybe Alan Partridge and Ali G have a society which I could join, set-up after their inundation with hate mail letters naively sent in by members of the public.

Fatima, only because you have asked for our attentions to be focused on things worthy of rage, do I make one final serious point, before I disappear into the blackhole of both Christmas and “The End of the Pledge” (or should that be, the end of what has become “The Salmon Forum”?) For yes, there has been a very serious message interwoven in all of my comments.

Countries whose people are starving are using their land to grow grain for export to feed the West’s farmed animals. Nutritionally valuable food is being fed to animals to produce meat, which Western countries are literally gorging themselves to death on.

The greatest single influence on the growth of diseases such as heart disease, cancer and diabetes is the amount of animal fat and protein that are eaten – the more one eats, the greater one’s risk (

A huge scientific study called the China Health Study found that the biggest killers in this country increased alarmingly as people changed from a more simple, predominantly vegetarian or vegan diet, to a Western diet obsessed with meat and dairy products.

Now we are exporting factory farming to the developing world. Meat and dairy consumption is rising and so are the associated health problems. Please, please, please if you look at no other link, look at this report from the World Health Organization to see what a mess the world is in. The biggest killers in the developing world are far different to what we’re all led to believe by the media…

It’s written in a way that is really easy to read, and there’s loads of pictures. So I would strongly disagree that sending goats or cows are the way forward.

Also, a single dairy cow produces around 400 litres of methane gas each day and cutting out just two cow-based meals a month could reduce your family’s annual greenhouse gas emissions by up to 30 per cent!

See also how we can feed more of the world, and incur minimal environmental destruction, without inflicting our bad Western dietary habits on developing countries:

Anyways, before I bid you all a fond farewell, you asked for ways of making a profound exit. Erm, if it were me, I would suggest leaving a trail throughout the office to keep em guessing. An unlocked ball and chain near the front door. A pair of shoes a little further on. Trousers on the stairs (small adult size). On the landing a pair of pants – teenage boy’s. Halfway across the floor, a shirt – primary school size. A little further on, on the way to your desk, a vest – baby size. Then on your desk a small jar, labelled “Caution: Thin Air”

Hope that everyone has a great Christmas and a fab New Year! Good luck with the new jobs.

Awra best,

Flynn, 14 years ago.

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